Someone Transformed a Nintendo Switch into a Painfully Slow iPhone: 20-Minute Boot Times, Kernel Panics, and Non-Functional Apps

Okay, so here’s the thing—someone’s gone and done something completely bonkers. You ever heard of someone trying to make Apple’s iOS run on a Nintendo Switch? Well, some tech wizard named PatRyk on that platform, X (or whatever it’s called now), did exactly that. So, hold your applause—because honestly, it’s a mess. The thing takes, like, 20 minutes just to wake up, and then… everything crashes. Yup, every single app just peaces out.

Anyway—no wait—right, “baby steps” or something. Everyone else is all hyped up about this new Switch 2, but PatRyk? Nope, spent two whole days trying to shove Apple’s OS into the console like it was meant to be there. I’m kinda amazed by the patience. I mean, how many times do you sit through a 20-minute boot just to watch it crash? More than I’d have the patience for, that’s for sure.

And using it? Oh boy. It’s like trying to write with your non-dominant hand while blindfolded—kernel panics, things timing out, apps crashing. It’s… something. Guess I’m not replacing my iPhone with a Switch anytime soon. Seems obvious, right?

Okay, here’s where it gets geeky—QEMU! Never heard? Me neither, until now. Apparently, PatRyk owes a lot to some customized version made for the iPhone 11 by this person, ChefKissInc. Fancy name. QEMUAppleSilicon does all this nifty emulation, and that’s how iOS ended up on a Switch, crawling along on Nvidia Tegra X1. If that means anything to you, congrats. You’re officially geekier than me.

So what’s next? Heck if I know. PatRyk doesn’t say if they’re diving back into this chaos again. But they teased more coding escapades, so who knows what they’ll Frankenstein together next? Stay tuned if you’re into that sort of thing or if you just like watching tech chaos unfold.

And I guess, side note—follow Tom’s Hardware or whatever if you want more of this kinda tech madness. Apparently, they push it right to your inbox, not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, I’m out.